Food Is A Love Potion: Gayuma Ni Maria

Maginhawa Street is a treasure trove of food finds.  Going along that stretch of road is like embarking on a culinary adventure of epic proportions.  Name it, the street has it: burgers, Japanese food, all-day breakfast, Tex-Mex, and the list goes on.  If one begins the adventure at the intersection with Anonas Street, there is one peculiar restaurant that is often overlooked solely because of its unassuming facade and the bundle of trees obscuring it.

Its dimly lit, faintly neon signage would however attract any passer-by with its eye-catching name, and then subsequently mistake it for an adults-only store.  But that is the concept and the aura that Gayuma Ni Maria intends to reflect.  Yes, this is actually a full-board restaurant dishing out a unique and cleverly crafted menu.

The interiors look a bit shabby, like any grandmother's old house.  The pastel colored wallpapers attempt their best to uplift the dim lights and the faded curtains.  The whole place feels like a gypsy shop, minus the crystal ball and manghuhula. (I found out they actually have an in-house tarot card reader.  That explains the strange theme.)  However, the table settings appeal to any couple on a date, complete with a flower centerpiece and floral table tops, setting the mood for a bizarre romantic night.

Guaranteed to crack a smile.  And a giggle or two.

The menu book was a simple laminated paper, but what's written is an imaginative play on words guaranteed to make even the most stoic laugh and the most purist giggle naughtily.  With items named like "Lumpiang Excited", "Rock Me Baby", "Size Doesn't Matter" and my hands-down favorite "Fishy Poque Poque", I'm pretty sure you'll find something you like, whether to order or just to laugh at.  But these monikers actually describe the dish quite accurately, and adds to the charm of Gayuma Ni Maria.  After a bit of teasing and giggling, we tried out a few of their mains.

Lumpiang Barako, P125

To fire up the night, we started off with these dynamite sticks aptly named Lumpiang Barako.  These sticks were filled with gooey cheese and green chilis wrapped in a lumpia skin and then deep fried.  There were some parts that were not crispy and unevenly fried, which was a bit of a letdown.  Also, there was an apparent lack of kicks, although both of us were used to spicy food anyway.  I was expecting quite a firestarter but this one failed to live up to its name.  Even the sissy could consume this thing.

Mi Amore, P215

She ordered a pasta dish that caught her fancy.  The Mi Amore was supposed to be an Italian spaghetti but it had clear overtones of Pinoy-style infused in it.  The sauce was mildly sweet typical of our local variants, except that there were no hotdogs to be seen.  The noodles were al dente and well executed.  The order came with two piece of buttered garlic bread, which were rather forgetful.  They were tough and chewy and a tad overdone.

Rock Me Baby!, P265

For my manly order, I selected one of my favorite cuts of meat.  The Rock Me Baby! was served with two large cuts of hickory barbecued pork ribs, with a side of corn kernels and your choice of mashed potato or rice.  Naturally, I went for the rice pairing.  The marinade was too sweet for my liking, almost tasting like pancake syrup.  There was a glaring lack of zest and spicy smokey feel, which was a bit distressing.  The meat though was soft and fork-tender, with the taste seeping well into its inner sinews.  I would have loved this dish if it imbibed a more grilled and smokey taste, the way a man wants it (pardon the pun, the theme is quite infectious).  But the sweet hints were too sissy.  Also, I would have preferred a more generous serving for that price tag, although the cuts that were served were plump and juicy.

Gayuma Ni Maria will not fail to surprise any curious foodie.  Despite its Filipino tag, the restaurant offers a wide array of choices and whole line-up of cakes and desserts (which we should have tried!).  Its peculiar and inventive theme and vibe and its fancifully branded dishes are enough to spark a dinner conversation and unending laughter.  The dishes themselves however, fail in certain striking aspects, owing probably to cooking technique and attention to detail.

But, just because of its eccentricity, I would go back on the right occasion, perhaps just to tease friends or have a good cozy dinner.  I sure hope they would improve on their servings and tweak the taste on some of the dishes.  For its charm alone, Gayuma Ni Maria should deserve a second look, and perhaps its potion might get one hooked.

Jones

Gayuma Ni Maria

123 V. Luna Extension (near Maginhawa Street)

Sikatuna Village, Quezon City

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gayuma-Ni-Maria/148108488537188